This piece makes the point that feeling all your feelings is important in the process of emotional growth – putting our inner strength to the test helps us develop the capacity to fully experience all the parts of our lives, the happiness, the calm, the little as well as the big moments, and, yes, even the heartbreaking parts.
‘You cannot skip over the pain. If your spiritual practice only serves you when things are going well, I don’t see what good it will do you over the course of your lifetime. Because it isn’t “all good”, and it isn’t all positive. Some things will never go in the category of, “thank you for this experience”. Some things are so brutally heartbreaking you have to hope a person will be able to go on. To experience joy again, to open to love.
I’d say the best spiritual practice is the ability to face reality as it is. To open to the present moment, even when it breaks your heart, and probably especially then. If you can hold the pain, you’ll also be able to hold the joy. If you can lean into the feelings you have around being betrayed, you create a pathway to eventual healing and forgiveness, if that feels right for you. In order to release the heat of feelings like rage, despair, and grief, you have to be able to sit with them. To acknowledge, “I’m hurt. That’s how it is right now. It’s not how it will always be, and it won’t kill me.” And then to breathe, and to allow the tears, or go hit a punching bag, or talk to a friend you trust, or go hiking, or get on your yoga mat.’
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– Ally Hamilton, MindBodyGreen